Well I finally got my crap together and finished writing the letter to my Grandma that I read at her Memorial. I sobbed through the reading and basically the entire service. I'm still not okay with her being gone, but somehow reading the letter to her gave me closure and a little bit of peace about her being gone. I'm able to think about her, and talk about her without wanting to sob my eyes out. I'll never truly be okay with her not being here, but it's somehow a little easier somehow.
As for everything else I'm dealing with...that isn't getting any easier to deal with. Honestly, it's pretty discouraging. I feel alone in everything. I know I'm not alone, God is always with me and all that, but it's so hard to feel like I have support and be encouraged when I don't have someone physically there for me...to help me; to hold me; to talk to me. It's just hard. Being a single parent is the hardest job in the world. So if any of you are reading this...Thank you; GOOD JOB; and GOD BLESS YOU! Because I feel every bit of your pain!
I am just frustrated lately. I'm worried about things that a parent should NEVER have to worry about...and I know life isn't fair...but this REALLY isn't fair!
However, life goes on, and I have confidence that God will bring me peace, and comfort, and HELP, and love in the end. I just have to be open to seeing that.
Hey. I've been dealing with a whole lotta life-isn't-fair too lately. Are you feeling any better since you wrote this?
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