hmmm...

Today I'm thanful for random thoughts...and/or what I like to call "lightbulb moments".

I had a lightbulb moment a couple weeks ago that made me really excited.  I realized that with the degree I'm going to school for, Bachelors in Human Services (aka social work), that I can basically work for any company that provides or facilitates basic human services to their employees, (mental health programs, any type of casework or management, etc)...and I realized the other day that, theoretically, there is a potential that I could find a way to work with the Detroit Tigers.  Now I said theoretically, of course, because there is no garauntee that there is any type of program in that club that I could work for, but  I like to aim high and keep my hopes up.  And baseball year round would be AAAAWWWWEEEESSSOOOMMMMEEEE.  hehe.

The other random thought/lightbulb moment I'm thankful for is that I realized, as badly as I want a husband, I know the timing isn't right, but I realized that one of the reasons the timing isn't right is because I'm not ready to be in a marriage again just yet.  I am not ready to be in a relationship, because I tend to lose my 'self' in relationships.  I take on habits and desires of the other person.  And then ultimately if that relationship ends or changes, I am lost because I don't know who I am supposed to be anymore.  When I can keep my sense of self in a relationship, then I can have one again.  I have a really good idea of what my sense of self is right now, but I'm still learning and growing in that.  I think that if I were in a relationship right now, and it were to end though, I'm pretty sure I'd be back in the same spot I was when my ex left.  I had NO idea of who I was, was supposed to be, or what I could be. 

So, thanks God for revealing these things to me.  :)